Tuesday, November 15, 2011

No Thank You?

I was recently emailed by a friend--who (like me) grew up with specific notions and ideas. Some may say they're outdated, but I find them timeless. There is something about hand writing a thank you note when you receive a gift, or are welcomed into someones home.  There is something about a gentleman who opens the door for you, walks beside you--not in front and not behind, and insists on giving you a coat when he sees you're cold. There is something about a hostess gift, a kind word just because, or even a handwritten note or card just because.


But I digress.  My friend and her boyfriend attended 7 Weddings This Summer...and have received 1 Thank You Note for their 100+ dollar gifts. As her email said: "I think it is interesting because I don't consider myself traditional, but I do think there are simple forms of common courtesy that are dying and young people don't think they matter.  Yet It Does.  Another thing, to add to the ridiculousness of this, in some cases I bought bachelorette gifts, bridal shower gifts, helped with their wedding (programs, took presents to the reception), and still no thank you note."



This email from my friend literally caused my jaw to drop. I suppose because it is so foreign to me. But also because it is such a slap in the face to my friend. When I was in PCH's wedding this summer and she was extremely prompt with her thank you notes. It was nice to know that she appreciated what I had picked out for her, she appreciated my presence at the shower, and that she has fabulous manners (and gorgeous stationary).

As a child, when I would receive birthday or Christmas gifts, or gifts just because, my parents would not allow me to play with them until I hand wrote a thank you note...and they expected each and every thank you note to be unique. I plan on doing the same thing when I have children. Even today, I try (though school, and life, sometimes gets in the way) to write a prompt thank you note when I receive gifts...this year at my Birthday Party I put personal notes in the party favor bags to cover my bases, because I knew post my birthday, life was about to get crazy busy--Emily Post would pry frown at this...but it's better than nothing.

Am I in the wrong here...or just the minority?  When did a quick text or email become appropriate as a Thank You, or even worse, when did not thanking someone become par...? Is an email thank you note acceptable (I personally shudder at evites to weddings)? Or am are Thank You Notes completely Outdated...and should I have a Stationary Burning Party?

8 comments:

  1. Stationary Burning Party? NEVER! I was a bit rigid about thank you notes, too...before I got married. And while there's really no excuse, I had assigned certain ones to D to write and then later friends would ask, Did you get our gift? and I wanted to cringe b/c...the hubs hadn't done his part. Brides are supposed to be given a year, so there's hope yet for your friends. But yes...there's no doubt that people always remember when they DON'T receive proper thanks!

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  2. Totally agree! I love and miss the "dying art" of the handwritten note! But in either case, wedding thank yous should never become obsolete! Great post!! Hope you're having a great week! xoxo

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  3. I could not agree with you more! I am all about technology, e-mail, Facebook, etc., but a handwritten thank you note is a necessity in my book. It is not that hard to sit down and write the notes, take the time to show you are appreciative of your friends coming to a wedding, hosting a house warming for you, or whatever. It is a dying art and it's a very tragic death.

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  4. I think it is sad that hand written thank you cards are not the norm anymore. Through my life, it has never been common to give or receive thank you cards for birthday presents or christmas presents. But big things like weddings and shower gifts? Also hand written thank you cards. When my fiance and I graduated from college in May, we had a big party. We didn't cash any checks or deposit any money until every thank you card was in the mail. I felt it wouldn't be right until I had thanked those people to be using their money. I love technology but sometimes when you see things like this, it is sad the way it is changing life.

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  5. I completely agree with you! I always write and have handwritten thank you notes for any gifts that I receive! My parents always taught me that that was the proper and polite thing to do! I cannot even imagine not writing thank you notes for wedding gifts I receive--that is so rude!

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  6. I am with you 100%. I would be seriously offended if I was your friend. I think that weddings are the one occasion where it should be EXPECTED to get a thank you note [though I'm a thank-you-note for everything kind of gal]. It's actually made me a little angry that people think this is okay. Argh!

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  7. UM NO you are not wrong! I LOVE a good thank you note or note just because! (and to add to the beginning, the perfect gentleman always walks closer to the street no matter the side heehee) but my mom wouldn't allow me NOT to write thank you notes and I haven't changed since! Plus who doesn't love stationary!?

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  8. You are definately not wrong in this case. Handwritten notes are not dying out, and the ettiquite regarding thank you notes hasn't changed all too much. Unfortunately people have just gotten lazy. Even though I don't live with my parents anymore, I always make certain to write thank you notes for every care package, card, or gift I receive. Technology may advance and communication may change, but polite is forever.

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