Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Mr. Wrong...Issue #12

My first Mr. Wrong was the boy I 2nd Grade.  It was love at first glance, as our desks were across from each other--and it was really cool to pass we passed a lot of notes.  One of those notes was asking me if I liked him (the check yes or no kind) and I checked yes...and so marked the beginning of our whirlwind love affair.  We sat by each other at lunch.  We sat next to each other during DEAR (Drop Everything And Read) time.  Oh, and we played Chase on the playground.  It was 2nd Grade Bliss. 

About 3 or 4 days into our relationship, he brought me a ring (like the kind you buy at the supermarket for 50 cents) and asked if I would marry him...via the 'yes, no, maybe' note.  (To my lovely gentlemen readers out there, even though I said yes to this proposal--I wouldn't try the 50 cent ring route).  I said yes.  I was were my classmates.  We had something to break up the boredom of meal worms, weather forecasting, and creative writing.  A real live wedding.

One of my friends was our minister, one of his friends was the ring bearer, we made invitations, and both of us dressed up (yep suit and dress) for the day we got married under the oak tree on the playground.  I should have known our union was doomed when he tried to kiss me (with the you may now kiss the bride part) and I dropped my dandelion bouquet, screamed, and sprinted.

We thankfully made up with a hug...and then...not even a half hour later he wanted kids.  eg. adopting classmates as our kids.  To say I was not okay with this on so many levels was an understatement--so I said I'd think about it...which at that time, and still today means "oh heck no."  So the next day, I retained prestigious legal counsel (myself) and drew up my first legal document--divorce papers...and had him served right before lunch.

It was a messy divorce--thankfully no custody battles, or property battles.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to obtain a TRO (Temporary Restraining Order)...and still had to sit across from him for the remainder of the quarter.  He would still write me notes, asking about remarriage, alimony (no, really), and if I wanted him to walk home with me...  Luckily we got a transfer student in the middle of the last quarter--and she became the (new) apple of his eye. 

So, friends, that was my first (of many) Mr. Wrongs.  2nd Grade Wedded Bliss Gone bad...

Thanks for Reading,

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