Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Mr. Wrong...Issue #10

There's that old phrase... "You don't marry the person...You marry their family."   This particular Mr. Wrong sent me running for the hills...and his family, well, his mother inspired me to see if I could change  my identity.

I knew this Mr. Wrong who we'll call Blue from Undergrad.  I had met him a few times at fraternity/sorority functions, seen him in the library, and beat him at beer pong.  Nothing ever transpired except the politely awkward small talk and my inward gloating that if I could take him at beer pong, I'd pry kick his butt at quarters

After we had both graduated, and I ran into him while I was working one day--and he asked me on a date.  Considering I was working--I didn't have my calendar on me, I was doing a million and one things, and I didn't know Blue well enough to know if I would want to date him.  I suggested he friend me on facebook, and then we could line something up...when I had my calendar, focus, and yes so I could learn a little more about him (eg facebook stalk).

Minutes later, my phone chirped with a facebook notification, a friend request from Blue.  Lucky for me, I suppose.  Why do I say lucky for me?  Cause Blue was really cool.  He still got super drunk on weekdays and bragged all about it on facebook, he used racial slurs on facebook (and if he was comfortable doing that in a public forum, I couldn't imagine what he would say 'off the record), and he thought he was way cool--eg reliving his college glory days every 15 minutes with super annoying inside jokes/status updates. Wuff.

Thankfully, none of my Mr. Wrong stories are resolved simply.  Blue facebooked messaged me a handful of times asking me out--which I politely declined--saying I had other plans, and then I actually started to see someone else (who was and still is pretty cool even though we're not seeing each other anymore)--and so I shared that with Blue.  I didn't hear from Blue anymore after that except for those way cool status updates...but I heard from someone else on Blue's behalf. 

She pulled up to Scooters when I was working, placed her order, and then when I began to make small talk with her--as I do all my customers--she interrupted me and asked me the million dollar question: "Why don't you want to date my son, Blue...What's wrong with him...Is he not good enough for you?"  Since I was rendered speechless...she took that as an invitation to go on:  "Why are you so special that you can decide not to date someone...what are you like the dating princess?"  She had a few other choice things to say that involved expletives, character assault, and then she went on to implore me to give Blue a chance--and told me how much he had going for him, what a great boy he was, how he wasn't a big drinker, he volunteered, he loved diversity...etc.  She reiterated that I needed to give Blue a chance, paid for her coffee, left me a (generous) tip and sped off.  To this day, she hasn't made a repeat appearance--maybe she got facebook and realized how cool Blue really is....

Have you ever been chewed out by a parent of someone you dated or someone who wanted you to date their child?

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