Mr. Wrong...Issue #5

I was taken aback when friends would email/text/ask me "Em, why don't you tell the story about ________, or the time you went on a date and ____________, or about the guy who _________..." Unfortunately for this particular guy--his name and persona came up quite often--so ladies and gentlemen--here's Jett*.



Image Credit-hubpages.com



The second time Jett and I went out, he wanted to cook for me. Considering my lack of culinary aspirations at the time this was a fantastic development.  Jett and I ran to the grocery store at the last minute because he didn't realize he didn't have a certain spice.  While we were at Whole Foods his mom called. He picked up, chatted for a bit, and then handed me the phone saying: "She wants to talk to you...I've told her ALL about you."

Considering this was the 2nd time we hung out,--I wasn't sure what all he could have told her.  After a painfully awkward chat filled with small talk, pleasantries, and her repeated assurance that she had heard all about me--Jett took the phone back, and we had a wonderful (and delicious) rest of the evening.

A few dates later Jett and I were watching The Last Samurai when his mom called. He talked to her for a good 20 minutes--and asked if I wanted to talk to her--I didn't. When they hung up he looked me in the eye and said: "Baby, I hope one day you'll fall in love with me, and love me as much as my mom does." I burst out laughing, which was clearly not response Jett was hoping for.

Jett and I didn't last too long after that.  His constant questions about his mother: "Baby, she makes the best sweet potato pie--Will you ever do that?" My response of laughter coupled with "Absolutely Not" again was the wrong one. His constant conversations with his mother--talking at least twice a day for 20minutes to an hour a time and of course repeatedly texting her--became quite the scheduling conflict for us.  And of course his constant deference to his mother: "My mom thinks that we should go to mass together (his mom lived in a completely different state)...My mom thinks ladies always wear heels (I made a point to wear flip flops from then on)...I'm just the apple of my mom's eye."

This reinforced that I want someone who, like me, is an independent person--but also has a healthy and NORMAL relationship with their parents. Have you ever dated a mama's boy/girl? How did that work out?!

(*Name, as always, has been changed).

Mr. Wrong...Issue #4



Photo Credit-pichaus.com



I had a Church Crush recently. By recently I mean within the past year. My friends heard me gush all about this mystery man, and kept telling me to talk to him.

Yes. Me. At a complete loss for words.

I finally worked up the courage about 2 months later.

"Hi, (pause), I'm Emily...and I like your shoes." Knowing me I was pry one-thousand shades of red and all sorts of flustered while saying this.  Thankfully my Crush (we'll call him Otto), either felt bad for me, or didn't think I was a completely tragic case--introduced himself, and made some small talk.

Over the next month, I would become painfully shy during my limited interactions with Otto...then once I would leave church I would be kicking myself that I couldn't just ask him out.

So, I did....And, He Said Yes! but... He Never Called.  Talk about a self-esteem booster. I still went to church, and one day--when he was committing a fashion faux pas (maroon pants and cowboy boots)--I called him out with a big smile "Hey Otto, thanks so much for the call--I loved getting coffee with you last week."

He left early that day. He never leaves early.

I apologized eventually if I hurt his feelings by calling him out. He told me I did.

He forgot to apologize for hurting mine.

Mr. Wrong...Issue #3

Some things are better with age: wine, scotch, furniture, toddlers leaving the 'terrible twos'... Some things aren't.


I met Doc when I was about 21.  He had just gotten a job at UNMC as a certain type of surgeon.  After running into him a few times at a local coffee shop, I agreed to go out with him.


I knew the basics--he was a _____surgeon, 30 years old, where he grew up, where he went to undergrad, med school, did his residency, and fellowship.  He liked spicy food, red wine, running, reading, and me. To say I was flattered would be an understatement.


For a month and a half dating Doc was fabulous. We'd see each other a few times a week, going out to (amazing) dinners, having cocktails, shopping, etc.  He was charming, intelligent, considerate, a total gentleman, and always wanted to make sure I was happy.


We were having dinner at M's Pub (one of my favorite restaurants) and I had just turned 21, so getting carded, and actually having my own ID was pretty sweet... Doc ordered wine, and I ordered a berry infused vodka on the rocks (my favorite drink there).  And I got carded--because the waiter thought I was underage (now that seems like a compliment)--Doc being sarcastic--asked the waiter how old he thought he was--the waiter answered 30, and proceeded to check Doc's id--exclaiming 'Man, I was WRONG.'

As aforementioned, Doc was 30. Right!? Wrong.

4 years of college, 1 gap year, 4 years of medical school, 1 year internship, 4 year residency, 2 year fellowship, 2 years to sub specialize. In case math isn't your strong suit--that is 18 years.

Doc was 18 when he went to college. 18+18=36...and he had celebrated a summer birthday. 37 years old. Though that may not seem so bad now--when I was 21 that was 16 years older than me. Doc was closer in age to my dad than to me--GROSS.  

Suffice to say, Doc and I didn't go out much after that--between the dishonesty on his part--which he admitted--the huge gap in age didn't quite do it for me.

Do you think I did the right thing? What has someone you've dated failed to tell you? Was it a deal breaker for you? What's the biggest age gap you've ever dated?

Mr. Wrong...Issue #2 (Blind Date)

During the summer, a friend of a friend set me up on a blind date with the 'sweetest, hard working, smart, handsome, etc.' boy in the world (retrospectively--if he was all those things and more, why would he still be single?)...

On the night of our date, I arrived a bit early so I could grab seats at the bar and (not even kidding) make a code word with the bartender if it got bad.  Gary (not his real name) arrived 12 minutes late with no excuse just an awkward 'uh sorry.' 

After exchanging pleasantries, Gary started the conversation mentioning the handbag (burberry) that I was carrying at the time: 'Nice bag...does that make you one of those girls...?' Luckily the bartender noticed my look of sheer terror or disgust and interrupted to take our orders. Instead of addressing his comment, I asked him about work which I figured would be a safe. I was wrong.

Gary worked at a certain Country Club (CC) in Omaha, and told me how much he hated every aspect of it--and not only did the job--but the people, in fact he hated any person who was a member of a CC. His diatribe was much more direct naming not only names that I recognized--but naming some of my friends--and ending it with a very pointed 'you don't belong to a CC, right?' To which I smiled sweetly and said 'of course I do Gary.'

Thinking it couldn't get worse Gary then attacked me as a person--WE HAD NEVER MET BEFORE--based on my purse, what I was wearing, and what little polite conversation we had made.  As I frantically signaled the bartender for our check--thinking that I had hit rock bottom on this date--Gary put the icing on the cake with his last statement: 'I hope you don't expect me to pay for you--I have 2 kids--and I pay their (2 different) moms child support--and you obviously can afford this.'

The most surprising part of this? The voicemail I got from Gary a few days following the date. 'I had a great time--when can we go on another date?'  Shockingly, I didn't call Gary back...

Have you even been on a blind date? Any BEST or WORST blind date stories? Do you think I should ever go on a blind date again or was this a big sign of not to?!

(*image credit-datingfreetips.info)

Mr. Wrong...Issue #1

February is fast approaching--and with that fabulous month comes my mom's birthday, President's day (?), and Valentine's day. I don't loathe the third, in fact I love a holiday that celebrates love (or lust), I love the candy hearts, and I love the color pink. Yet with all of these sweet treats coming in less than a month, I have hit some sour notes on the road to finding a Valentine...so I thought over the next few weeks I'd share some of the more humorous and maybe a bit of the sappy with my readers--who knows--maybe you can shed some light on what may have gone awry on my quest to find my 'mr. wonderful.'

My first experience with this was when I was 17 or 18.  A boy I met when I worked at BR, (I'll refer to him as Porsche), asked me out. I'm not going to lie when I say that our date was perfect. He picked me up in his dad's new porsche (if you know me, you know my love affair with cars, so this was points for him), we went to M's Pub for dinner, and then drove around the Field Club/Country Club area following dinner.
He opened doors, paid for everything, brought me flowers--he set the bar high and proved that chivalry existed. It was bliss.

A week went by...then my phone rang--and it was Porsche. "Hey, can I take you to coffee--I have a present for you."

I was delighted, coffee, presents, and Porsche. What a great trifecta. When we got to Starbucks something was different about Porsche--though he was groomed to perfection, with a present in hand, his demeanor had changed. Instead of suave and confident he seemed absolutely petrified.

We sat down and he began with "I have something to tell you don't be mad..." At this point I figured he had a girlfriend, was moving to a chateau in the Alps, or worst just wasn't that into me... "I'm gay and going out with you the other night made me realize I really like boys." He then handed me my present with "I'm sorry--Don't hate me..." and left.

I was speechless, I was confused as to what role I played, and I was sad. I opened my present months later--he had made me a scrapbook--with a very sweet message thanking me for being me and for letting him be himself for the first time.

We haven't talked since. But I see him out and about from time to time--impeccably groomed, happier than ever--and I know he has a special place in his heart for me--as I do for him.

What is the most shocking thing someone you've gone out with has told you--how did you react?

"I have a dream..."

Throughout elementary school, middle school, as well as high school there were two things that always occurred on Martin Luther King (MLK) day. First, we had school--which at the time was a very sore subject, and is something I still lament about toady. Second, in at least one class we had a writing assignment to write about our own dreams--which was supposed to relate to MLK's famous speech--but usually involved mansions, no school on MLK day, as well as whatever we could dream up. My eighth grade year we had to do the assignment in Spanish--"Yo tengo un sueno"--it may have been more rudimentary than my kindergarten essay about the same topic.

With all of that being said, I'm excited that now, at 24 years old, MLK day is starting to mean more to me. I'm not sure if it is because of reading, discussing and learning about so many cases and how laws are made and changed--or learning about fearless people who believed what they were doing was right and because of that they shaped a little piece of history.  Personally I feel it is I graduate law school--what I can do, what my classmates can do, what you can do--shape history, change the world, and fight for something we believe in. So don't let MLK's work be in vain--stand up for what you believe in, do something about it, change the world. It only takes one--let that one be YOU.

5 Things

School resumed on Friday, yes Friday... We're supposed to experience frigid temperatures this coming week... The snow isn't pretty anymore... I'm still uncaffeinated. But I'm smiling. Life is good. Here are a few things that have helped keep a smile and sanity during the first few weeks of January.

Caffeine Free Herbal Tea. Yep, I'm still on my no caffeine kick, and it's great. My headaches are gone, I feel less anxious/stressed, and I'm sleeping sounder. But I'm COLD. And I can only drink so many cups of cocoa per day (less than one). So my mom bought some great Celestial Seasonings Caffeine Free tea for me! I love the Cinnamon Apple Spice, which tastes and decadent as it sounds--and you can buy here.

Scarves. My Gram is a nurse--and she always swore "if you keep your neck (and ears) warm, you'll stay warmer," and she is right. I love how scarves have evolved from just winter wear, and are completely appropriate (depending on the situation and dress code) to wear indoors. I am partial to the timeless Burberry plaid scarves, because they are a piece I'll you can use forever--you can get yours here! However I've also tried to embrace the pashmina because of it's versatility--you can use it is a wrap, scarf, and so on.  Though it is not as warm as the former, it is much more affordable.  There is a local boutique (Togs) that carries a great selection of them--you can learn more about the store here!

Ginger Chews. I'm not sure why I enjoy the flavor of ginger suddenly--but when I've been craving something sweet lately, I'll eat one of these, and the craving is gone. I love the mixture of sweet and spicy, and the texture of the candy.  I've tried Trader Joe's brand of Crystallized Ginger--which is good, but abnormally spicy--I made the mistake of putting 2 pieces in my mouth, and subsequently drank 2 bottles of water. My favorite type, which you can also get at Trader Joe's, are 'Ginger Chews' made by the Ginger People--I prefer the original flavor--but you really can't go wrong with any of them!  You can buy them here--and if you end up getting some, I'd love to know what you think!

The Steam Room. I don't know if I've mentioned the cold at all--but I don't like it. So, after working out, I spend some time in the steam room--which is anything but cold. Plus the wet heat and eucalyptus have definitely allowed me to bypass not only sinuses but colds too.  

Planners.  I'm not sure if this is a girl thing. But every year I LOVE to buy planners--I am diligent about filling them out for a week or even a month at best, but then I fall of the wagon. I got my current planner at Anthropologie, and I need to finish using it before I buy another one. However, I was just given an awesome 2011 calendar from Paper Source, and they have some amazing planners which you can buy (or just look at because they're awesome) here :).

I hope you enjoyed a few things that have made January, if not warmer, more bearable so far. Is there anything that you're doing or using to make this month fantastic? Is there anything that I should add to my list?

Limbo

I love when people are genuinely interested law school--whether they're customers at scooters, family, friends, or friends of my parents... It feels so good to share my feelings of stress (final exam time), euphoria (a month long break), or right now suspense and anxiety (waiting for grades).

"How did you do this semester?" they'll ask say, "I'm not quite sure yet, but I worked very hard" is my typical response. "C'mon--your grades on your test--the one grade per class/per semester you told me about...how did they turn out" they'll cajole. And that's when I have to let them in on a little known fact--our grades from our tests which ended December 17th, will be posted January 10th, at the earliest.

So, I am, like most or all of my 1L classmates, in limbo. Let me tell you, limbo is not a fun place to be. It causes dreams where you are asked to teach the class because you did so well, or nightmares where you are asked to leave because you got 0% on every exam... It is something that makes you second guess the upcoming interviews, upcoming semester, upcoming activities and honors, and even yourself. It's something I'll never want to revisit, but I hope I'll never forget--it is eye-opening, patience building, and something that has allowed me to assess my first semester as a 1L.

Here's to you all of you 1L's out there--a couple more days til our grades are posted! Here's to those in a different type of limbo--I get it--and I feel your pain. And here's to those former 1L's--I hope you haven't forgotten what 'limbo' feels like.

xo and Happy Friday
Emily