Some things are better with age: wine, scotch, furniture, toddlers leaving the 'terrible twos'... Some things aren't.
I met Doc when I was about 21. He had just gotten a job at UNMC as a certain type of surgeon. After running into him a few times at a local coffee shop, I agreed to go out with him.
I knew the basics--he was a _____surgeon, 30 years old, where he grew up, where he went to undergrad, med school, did his residency, and fellowship. He liked spicy food, red wine, running, reading, and me. To say I was flattered would be an understatement.
For a month and a half dating Doc was fabulous. We'd see each other a few times a week, going out to (amazing) dinners, having cocktails, shopping, etc. He was charming, intelligent, considerate, a total gentleman, and always wanted to make sure I was happy.
We were having dinner at M's Pub (one of my favorite restaurants) and I had just turned 21, so getting carded, and actually having my own ID was pretty sweet... Doc ordered wine, and I ordered a berry infused vodka on the rocks (my favorite drink there). And I got carded--because the waiter thought I was underage (now that seems like a compliment)--Doc being sarcastic--asked the waiter how old he thought he was--the waiter answered 30, and proceeded to check Doc's id--exclaiming 'Man, I was WRONG.'
As aforementioned, Doc was 30. Right!? Wrong.
4 years of college, 1 gap year, 4 years of medical school, 1 year internship, 4 year residency, 2 year fellowship, 2 years to sub specialize. In case math isn't your strong suit--that is 18 years.
Doc was 18 when he went to college. 18+18=36...and he had celebrated a summer birthday. 37 years old. Though that may not seem so bad now--when I was 21 that was 16 years older than me. Doc was closer in age to my dad than to me--GROSS.
Suffice to say, Doc and I didn't go out much after that--between the dishonesty on his part--which he admitted--the huge gap in age didn't quite do it for me.
Do you think I did the right thing? What has someone you've dated failed to tell you? Was it a deal breaker for you? What's the biggest age gap you've ever dated?
Yikessss!!! I don't blame you... I don't think my dad would be too happy if I brought a 40 year old home.
ReplyDeleteI tend to get along better with older guys, but... There is a limit!!
I like your stories :)
YES you did the right thing!!! Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if he'd actually told you how old he was. You did not have all of the relevant information to make an informed decision! (There's definately a reliance argument here, but I'm sure you get tired of law school jokes)
ReplyDeleteI've always dated older guys... not 16 years older though! Let's see, if I did that now the guy would be 41. Yeah, that's too old. The largest age gap for me has been 8 years. Right now I'm seeing a guy who is 5 years older. I believe 30 is the magic number for guys. That seems to be the age when they decide to finally grow up (at least a little bit).