Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Pants on Fire

The main purpose of this post is to introduce a new series of posts loosely based on popular "Sh*t My Dad Says..."  Instead of focusing on my dad who is indeed hysterical, witty, and always right.  I want to focus on guys that I meet out and about so here is an introduction to my new weekly installment of "Sh*t this Dude Said..."  I really hope you enjoy, and as always THANK YOU for reading. oxo

I'll admit it.  There have been a few times when I've been out at the bar, been bored out of my mind and made up a pretty fantastic story about my job (Professional Golfer, CEO of Breitling (Watches), Etc.)...I usually try to do something that I have a pretty good background knowledge of and I make sure my friends are in on it too.  99% of the time it ends up being hysterical.  1% of the time it ends up being awkward.  Unfortunately, I'm not the only person who plays this game.  I had a phone conversation with my friend MC about this:

Me: MC why do boys lie to me?
MC: uhhhhh, is this a trap?
Me: No, I keep meeting boys out and about who tell me they're something that they're not. Like they're in law school at the place I go...and they're definitely not.
MC (who is in law school with me):  Well, I was an oil man from Texas while I was out of town at a wedding this weekend.
Me: (hysterical laughter)

All of this being said.  It baffles me when someone has the need to lie to me to make conversation.  As a rule, I try to make things interesting enough while talking, so there should be no need to embellish.

Case In Point:
I was recently at a bar which I normally try to avoid because it is cougar heavy.  I was talking to CAM about my love for Biebs...when a silver fox and his sidekick swooped in. 

Silver Fox:  I went to Taylor Swift this weekend.
CAM: With a bunch of 12 year olds?
Me: Those were probably some good odds.
Sidekick: We have a box for every concert (followed with a wink)
CAM: Can we get back to Biebs?
Silver Fox:  I have some extra tickets to his concert...I'd love to take both of you
Me: We could just take your tickets off your hands
CAM: Best Idea Ever
Sidekick: laughs (doesn't realize we're winning) you girls are spunky
Silver Fox: Well first I want to be facebook friends
CAM: (texting me) Sketchball
Me: (texting back) I wonder who does his botox...his face isn't moving.
Me: I don't have facebook
Silver Fox: You were just on it on your phone
Me: Weird
CAM: So what are the deets about Biebs?
Sidekick: Can I go with you girls to the concert?
Silver Fox: Gives some bogus date and then proceeds to try to buy us another round.

**By this time hunger (taco bell craving) had taken over so we left after taking their numbers (but most definitely not giving out ours) so we could figure out the Biebs Concert.  Since this seemed way to perfect to be true...we googled Bieber and guess what NO BIEBS Concert.  No surprise that Silver Fox and Sidekick haven't heard from us, although I haven't deleted their numbers just never know when you'll need a good recommendation for botox ;)**

1 comment:

  1. hahaha.. Hilarious! Love that you gave em all nicknames.. fabulous. And uh... I have to admit. I once pretended to be a flight attendant (with a group of friends) when some dbags were hitting on us. We thought that was a good cover- never anywhere too long, can't really hang b/c we have "an early flight", etc... haha! Comedy.